I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
