Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
