so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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