Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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