So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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