mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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