So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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