omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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