Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
