Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
