Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
