why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Acid is not a monday night drug
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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