I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You made out with two different species that night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
