Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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