people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
