its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
