Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
