Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
