drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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