I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
