She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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