Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
