just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sarcasm needs its own font
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
