i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
