i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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