i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
