I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
