My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
