so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
