You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
