The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
