And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm both gender and math confused
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
