You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
