Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize