i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Someone shit on the floor
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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