I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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