My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
