You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
