And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
