North Korea, Best Korea!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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