dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
