Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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