it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
