Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
do herpes really smell.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
