The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
