would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
