i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
