My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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