we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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