3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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