On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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