NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
