Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
