You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I touched a dick in church today
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
