the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
