All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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