so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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