White coat. Heels.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
